Saturday, 9 February 2008

Brain dead!

There comes a stage, when an overabused brain can either just quit, snap or simple fizzle off! Too much thinking is also an issue... lots of people will say, don't think too much... but it is not easy to listen to and worse, adhere to. For unbidden thoughts, memories, emotions... nobody has understood completely how the human mind works, but it does work.

Sometimes, just too much. It then, that you get the feeling - maybe the stone age was better. Having said that, I do believe that it is the present that one is in, that matters the most. Hope is the only thing that a human mind will retain, even in the darkest moments. Hope is the elixir that sustains humans way beyond what would be in the realm of real time possibilities. Sometimes, it turns out to be a mirage, and at times becomes real.

If there really was a way to turn that switch off or to even slow down the pace at which the brain works (and many take help of alchohol or other such substances), it just may help. I do not even know if anyone will be reading what I have written here, but if you do and you actually know the secret switch, do let me know!

What is satisfaction?

Really, what is satisfaction? So often I feel that we could be much better people, if we were to be satisfied with what we get. For many of us, despite possibly having got the best, we still look for more. Is this a human trait? To keep looking?

There will be a school of thought, which says, well if we were the sorts that would be satisfied with what we had, then the human race would not have reached where it is today. It is the pursuit of more that has led to some of the world's best inventions be it in technology, health care, travel and many such products.

But when it comes to relationships, if we apply the same yardstick, one ends up feeling absolutely bad. Realisation leads to remorse which does lead to resolve, but it is not a one-way street. And so often, it is too late. And free will is a fact of life. Unless it is given by free will, it can not be had satisfactorily.

What a life...

Friday, 8 February 2008


Friends are who make you what you are... or the old-fashioned way of saying it, you are what you are, depending on the company you keep!

Well, I have a slightly different view as of this stage in my life. I have now come to see, not only how much friends matter, but who really are friends. There are many sorts of friends. Some just above the acquaintance level, some friendly, some deep, yet some really sort of psuedo-soul mate! And by this, I mean that there are some individuals who really do understand you, feel for you, want you to be happier and actually make an effort to support/help you as required.

When a friend, cries thinking of what you are going through, and wishes that you would get out of the negative situation sooner than later, you know that, that is a friend. Somebody who really cares.

As a basic tenet, to me friends are connections between hearts and minds of dissimilar individuals, and is the bond on which many a life really is lived!

Emotions, logic, truth

It is said in psychology texts that a person goes through a shock, denial and finally acceptance phase. This is apparently valid for any situation, but mostly for the negative experiences.

Yet, have you ever had this feeling that however much, you try, you don't seem to be able to get over a situation that has developed in a manner that hurts you? While it would be easy to say, this is the denial phase, fact of the matter is that emotions and logic do not mix with each other.

Rather logic can be applied in any manner to suit emotions - which range from sadness, rage, disillusionment, despair to lower self-esteem. It is quite often surprising, that one tends not to look at the larger picture of life. One seems to get focussed so specifically on a certain objective, that everything else which may still be going very well, gets put down. Some may revel in brooding, I do not. That a blog becomes an outlet (not completely satisfactory, albeit better than anything else), it is a tad scary too.

It also tells you the truth - humans (at least most of us) are not loners. We like to be with other like-minded individuals with whom you can relate on various levels. Sometimes a situation can lead to questionning - is this life? Is this the truth about living? When the situations are positive, it is not even a thought that crosses one's mind - one is blithely carrying on being 'happy'. And while you may agree that the definition of happy varies within each person, isn't it a fact that we are constantly in the pursuit of happiness?

If one is losing sleep over a situation, then I guess one is letting the situation get to a stage where it relegates everything else to the background. It is easier to say, focus on the right things, keep moving, keep busy, blah blah blah, but is it that easy to do? I don't know. You might even say, it is the part of maturing, growing up... hey, if this is the wake up call of adulthood, then by no means is adulthood what it is made out to be. And if this is childish in thought, then what is the truth?

Thursday, 7 February 2008

Men and Women - 2

It is indeed scary at times, what women can do to men. And the word that usually goes around is that only women are emotional. Wrong! Men are as emotional as women. In some case even more so. Sensitivity is not something that can be measured so easily in everyone. Sometimes, it is hidden so deep and so well, that some people never manage to see beyond the superficial.

But it is true that men are emotional. Especially, when it comes to their partners. Every relationship is fraught with hurdles and joys. When it is all good and great, everybody is happy and the world is golden and heavenly. Yet the very same place becomes hell, when things change, people change, times change. It is all very good and easy to say that somethings are meant to be. I say that it is nothing but a way of justifying to yourself that it is not within your control and therefore there's no alternative but to accept it.

Yes, we live in a world where mostly free will exists and can be exercised. But when it happens and as a result, someone who means more than you had ever realised moves on, it hurts. It hits so deeply that there are hardly any words that can convey how much and where all it hurts.

Some men take it very positively. Some scream - Freedom! Some just scream. In pain. I am one of those. Today I don't feel on top of the world, rather I feel like the world is on top of me. And yet there are so many 'friends' who will tell you that 'you've got to move on'. Sure, if my stupid brain and the resultant ego allows me to!

There will be a school of thought that will say, it is but natural. Humans are not destined to be partners for a very long period - yet this eschews the whole theory of lifelong partnership.

Well, I do not know what lifelong partnership is, but I do know that it feels like you are smaller than even the tiniest atom in the world, when you are at the receiving end of a -- sorry, it is not working!

Monday, 4 February 2008

men and women - 1

humans - yes. two species - yes. but so very different in our approaches to life, to relationships, to things that bring the two together or take them apart.

i'm sure there are many people out there who can confidently state that they have had it worse than me and i'm sure they may be right. but as with any human being, what's happened to me is most important to me than anybody else. and right now, i'm in a vaccum. a place where i feel zoned out. why? take a guess!

why is that men and women can't see eye to eye on things that have got to do with relationships? why is that women are almost always seeking out that 'life partner'? why is it that men who are in a relationship, still 'check out' other women? the former have a compulsive need to 'settle' down, whereas the latter have a compulsive need to go after every one of the former species that they take a liking to.

anyways, i digress here. the point that i have been trying to understand is why do feelings change? situations change and quite possibly we can't control it, but feelings? answers anyone?

The Chances We Take. Or Not.

Book under review: Ahmed Faiyaz,  Another Chance Grey Oak Publishers, 2010 ISBN: 978-93-81626-02-3 Rs. 195 We all know...