Tuesday, 24 June 2008

Human relations et. al.

This a response blog, because as I started writing a comment, I realised that it was just getting longer and longer, thought might as well make it a blog! I also would like to state outright that all of what I will write here on is debatable, so bring it on... the more the merrier ;)

Call it Hum Tum or the hot topic of relations that opposite or even same genders of the human species could have, especially of the 'love' variety.

There are a few points I would like to say here:

1. There are no absolutes in any relationship. To think so would be foolish.

2. Right or wrong, as said in Anila's blog (check the link) is from 'a' person's perspective. There is my truth. Your truth. And the truth... LOL

3. While I do not backtrack from what I'd written, I must admit that those were written during a state of emotional trauma (or shall we say, a steep learning curve...LOL), so are liable to be very subjective.

In one of the comments on Anila's blog, a friend asks why do guys flirt at all. Yet another says, a flirt is somebody who's not ready to be steady (excuse the pun). Some say that it is part of the male psyche...it is also hard wired into our genes. I feel, that all of us flirt - consciously or unconsciously. As someone had mentioned in one of the comments, both girls and guys do 'check' each other out. Sometimes, the chemistry/connect/vibes et. al. is so strong that the flirting can get deeper and move on to something much more like a relationship. But to me the basic point of flirting (no rose tinted glasses here) is to get to know a person that much more than what one would get to know otherwise.

Body language is as much part of flirting as are verbal expressions. Flirting can have various styles, standards and goals. And not all flirting is with the intent as deciphered by the receiver. Having said this my point on perceived truth versus the truth still remains.

Civilisation, education, societal evolution - these and many more factors have brought in various elements that 'condition' us to what is behaviourally acceptable or not. There are also certain deeper factors, which not all of us recognise all the time.

While I agree that trust is the basic principle of any relationship (especially between lovers - maybe because the link is based on purely voluntary reasons?), the moot point is what is the trust for? For example, would it be appropriate to say, "Because you are in a relationship with me, I trust you not to flirt with other men/women"? or would it be better to say, "I trust you to be open and honest with me on every count, including the flirting?" or would be better to say, "I trust you to be with only me, in this manner, and no one else?" or would it be best to say nothing at all?

One of the movies that I have recommended - What love is - a recent release is worth watching, as amongst themselves, it shows men talking about women and women talking about men and both have a lot to say on this whole flirting thing. Yet when they meet up, all those discussions taken on a completely different hue. Please do see it, if you can, and add a comment/response to this topic. I will be very happy to take up a discussion.

More on this tomorrow...


  1. well thats a start on things for making you write a blog..

    and yes this topic is sooo very debatable hence its my favourite topic.. you can never say that anything is wrong.. because it would be seem right from that person's point of view..

    yup i would like to know would the guys or girls be open if their partner would say yes i would like to be more open with me and discuss with me wht you do including if you flirt around or you get any kind of different vibes...

    sometimes this unnecessarily leads to jealousyy.. this i haven't mentioned before in my blog..something to add for a next time i write about..:)

  2. Hey...I have either known or seen situations where some people have talked about being open and honest, and while some, not as much as being secretive, tend to not be so open. Both have their pluses and minuses. Sometimes, knowing hurts and raised angles like jealousy, sometimes not knowing may be bliss and vice versa.

    I will look forward to your next add :)

  3. Hey dude, first whoever formed the flirt word I hope he roasts in hell. I simply call it the mating call.and if a female answers the mating call then yeah she probably wants to mate. It is very simple...the mating part.

  4. Neat thinking, but what gives you the idea that it was a 'he' who invented that word?? LOL...


Your comments are welcome. I am all ears.

The Chances We Take. Or Not.

Book under review: Ahmed Faiyaz,  Another Chance Grey Oak Publishers, 2010 ISBN: 978-93-81626-02-3 Rs. 195 We all know...